We, as a people, are not meant to live life without companionship. I am not talking about spouses; I am talking about friends. The friends who meet you right where you are. The friends who do life right alongside you. Jennie Allen says “We’re not meant to learn alone. Or to work alone. Or to do chores alone. Or to relax alone. Or to celebrate alone. Or to cry alone. Or to make decisions alone.”

 As a stay-at-home mom to an almost 3-year-old, the most rewarding thing about my life is the ability to be fully present in my son’s life. I get so much joy watching him grow and do new things every day. Since becoming a mother, I often say, “This is the most tired I have been in my entire life, while also the happiest.”

I am so blessed to have a husband who works hard to provide for our family, making my staying home full-time possible. We are not monetarily rich by any means, and we had to make some big lifestyle changes when I left my corporate job.

I never wanted to be a corporate career woman. At the age of 10, if you asked me “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I probably would have said something along the lines of singer, actress, or fashion designer. If you asked what my dream job was 10 years later, my answer would be wildly different. A wife and a mom. A homemaker. Don’t get me wrong, I loved where I worked, and I met two of my best friends there. The job, however, I did not love.

When the pandemic hit in 2020, the company moved many of us to remote work and, during this time, I learned a lot about myself and what I believed God was calling me to do. I was no longer fulfilled by my job and my mental health was taking a beating. Once I was no longer surrounded by my best friends in the office, and it became just my job and me, I realized quickly that my job and I did not get along. After many tears and mental breakdowns, I finally told my husband how unhappy my job made me. My husband and I always planned for me to be a stay-at-home mom once we eventually had children, but leaving my job in the middle of the pandemic before I was pregnant, when so much about life in 2020 was uncertain, felt selfish. After an immense amount of consideration, prayers, writing and rewriting the budget, we decided we could do it. Not for a second have I forgotten what a gift and privilege it is that I am able to do this.

Once I put in my notice at work a weight lifted from my shoulders. It also helped that my two best friends, with whom I worked, were my biggest cheerleaders. They continue to be my greatest supporters to this day.

I left my job in May 2020, became pregnant in August 2020, and gave birth to my son in April 2021.  After leaving my 9 to 5, it took me a long time to gain enough confidence to say “I’m a homemaker” or “I work in the home” anytime someone asked what I did for work. A drawn-out explanation followed my answer like I was trying to convince the person asking that my “work” was, in fact, “work.” In reality, I was still trying to convince myself the work inside my home was important enough or worthy of recognition. I didn’t stop feeling that way when I had my son either. No matter how much my husband and family tried to convince me that what I was doing was a real contribution, I couldn’t be convinced.

A whole 9 months after my son was born, I found myself in another conversation where someone asked, “What do you do for work?” and I said, “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” Period. No explanation. No shame or embarrassment. Only confidence. I was healed! All of my self-doubt and anxiety disappeared! Never again have I felt inadequate or like I wasn’t doing enough! Okay, that’s not true. It was a breakthrough, though. I can honestly say that I now feel confident and proud stating my status as a stay-at-home mom. I am proud of the little boy I am raising. I am proud of what it has done for my marriage.  I am also fully aware that this is not for everybody. Each of us is given a different purpose in life.

When talking about raising children, many people will say, “It takes a village.” The reality is that life in general, the good, the bad, and everything in between, cannot be done without a village of our own. All of this being said, outside of my husband and family, I would not make it without my village.

I have a friend, Christina, who, while being a full-time mother to three boys and a full-time employee, received her bachelor’s degree and her master’s degree as a full-time student. She is a real-life superhero to me.

I love to live vicariously through another friend of mine. Taylor is the most creative person I know. She is a photographer. She tells beautiful stories through her photography. In the time I have known her she has gone to Sweden and Ireland, and she attends Bonnaroo every year. I will never look at her life and say “Must be nice” because I know how incredibly hard she works and I’m so proud of all her accomplishments.  It also helps that everything she does is documented through vibrant, beautiful photography that I love to see.

Another friend, Lena, runs marathons. In fact, she ran a half marathon at 6 months pregnant! One of my favorite memories of her is when I watched her cross the finish line of her very first marathon. I, along with some friends, stood in the cold and rain for hours that day, homemade signs in hand, just to catch a glimpse of her running by. Her dedication to everything she does has always been a huge source of inspiration for me.

These are the women I look to for strength and inspiration.  These are the women I love to stand on the sidelines and cheer for. These are also the women who, when my son had a health scare, said “Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it” and they meant it. These are the women who ask “Hey, how are you?” and genuinely want to know how I am instead of the automatic “Good.” We all have different points of view, responsibilities, aspirations, and callings, but I have never felt more supported and understood than when I am with these women.

Christina has been in my life for over 20 years. She knows more about my life experiences than anyone else I know and has been here to watch me grow into the woman I am today.

On the other hand, I met Taylor and Lena when I was 23 years old. I am 29 now. I could go on about the importance of female friendships, especially in adulthood. What I will say, is that these two women entered my life at the exact moment I needed them and met me right where I was.

Life is ever changing and having a community to see me through it all is truly a gift. After making a mistake or falling short there will be people in this word who will tell you “You can’t sit with us!” Find the people who, no matter what, always save you a seat.